So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
