i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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