I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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