I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
