The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
