HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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