Will you blow on my dice?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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