My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
