Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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