Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize