Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
