maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
