now i know why i became what i already was.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
