I will die if light touches me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
