Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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