I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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