i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
