then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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