so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize