Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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