I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
