would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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