weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
