Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize