the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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