mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
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