If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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