oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
