RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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