I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
