As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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