whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How does one acquire holy water?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
