I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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