I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
