What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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