just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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