just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
