you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
