wat bout pragnant strippers??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
