I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
they need to just BURY HIM!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm both gender and math confused
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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