oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
