i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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