I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
