is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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