i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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