Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
