you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
