i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
