I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So squirting runs in the family.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
