Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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