He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
