just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
