i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
