; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
