Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize