Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
