Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
