Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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