I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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