woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
