at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
